The HIGH ROAD of FORGIVENESS

in steemitbloggers •  6 months ago

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We have all been angered, hurt or betrayed at least once in our lives and the process of forgiveness is a very personal journey – an incredibly important one for our own well-being, but it is in fact the “high road” and therefore, often the most difficult. No valuable lessons in life come without fair challenge. If they did, they would not be very good lessons to begin with.

The HIGH ROAD of FORGIVENESS

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I have had this discussion with many people over the years, as whilst I still have many a failing… forgiveness has become something I have HAD to learn. Had I not chosen to open myself to it, I would either not be here at present or, I would most certainly be an incredibly bitter and twisted individual… Some may argue that I am in fact twisted haha – but well, I would like to believe that I am a good kind of twisted!

Bitterness, resentment and anything else much like them are incredibly heavy burdens to carry. Anybody who has in fact worn those clothes for a substantial period of time, will either be a walking witness for it, or an open testament to it… depending on the individual themselves obviously. But either way, the outcome is seldom very fruitful in terms of personal growth on an emotional, mental or spiritual level.

I don’t care how much you may be hurt or angered by something, someone or a situation in general – feeding that negative emotion is only ever productive for a very short time, and the reality is that most people miss the gateway to opt out and then it begins to consume them. Once it begins to consume you, it will literally eat you from the inside out! And no, revenge is never sweet. Revenge my dear, is like a candy coated prescription pill. The first few seconds are pleasant and after that you simply wish you could rid yourself of that bitter taste on your tongue!

It is never worth it. Never!

I do realise that every situation and circumstance is entirely unique, but if and when I am ever approached by others with the question of how to deal with such things, my response is one which comes from a place close to me heart. It comes from my own learning and experience and that is – get angry. Be hurt. Voice it – and voice it loudly if needs be… but then, stop. Make a conscious decision to separate yourself from it. Literally…. Pry it from your chest and place it on the ground…. Turn around, look at it – acknowledge its presence, but then turn your back on it… remove its power from your mind and heart and walk away from it.

With just a few steps distancing yourself from it, you will realise that it has begun to lose its grip on you and you will be able to breathe again… and we are MEANT to breathe – we are NOT meant to choke.

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Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx

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@jaynie Great advice, life is too short to hold on to such emotions, at least that's what I've been telling myself.

I'm going to confess I really suck at forgiving and letting go of the hurt until I learned that you can't have positive and negative emotions at the same time, hence I'm taking Gratitude seriously.

It doesn't mean you won't fail sometimes too, we are still humans (at least for now :)) )

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@micscrypt that is so true but the more we exercise that habit, the better we get at it 😎

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Had to read this again - experiencing one of those failing moments

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Well said and COMPLETELY agree! It can be a slow process but man, it is worth it!

A good kinda twisted....hahahahha...sounds good to me

Wow. I love your solution. Very realistic. Most times, peopletend to avoid the seemingly unavoidable. But the moment you acknowledge it, get it off your chest and then find your peace, it starts to go.

I am for one particularly scared when people don't get angry because it feels like pretense sometimes. I believe its natural to get angry.

Revenge is never sweet, unforgiveness ruins you. It consumed me one time, i got a changed personality which left me with scars and regrets while the person i didnt forgive led a nice life.

The first step to forgiving is self discovery. When i came to understand my worth and value. Even when i get hurt, i let gi almost immediately.

I am a Christian, but i don't forgive because the bible says so. I forgive because i need to have my peace.

The greatest unforgiveness to overcome is when you are angry with yourself. Its easier to forgive others than yourself.

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@t-flames So true what you say about people who dont acknowledge their emotions.... thank you for you valuable input and for stopping by ❤️

I still struggle with this sometimes, but not as much as when I was younger. I think I'm pretty forgiving of things that happen now. I probably still hold some resentment for the old stuff that still affects my life, though. I have done my best to get rid of any residual hatred within myself, but at the same time, I suppose I have a hard time letting them off the hook.

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@byn yeah I know exactly what you mean, but like you said... it does seem to get a little easier with age and maturity ❤️

Amazing picture and words! :)

Great advice. It is hard sometimes to forgive just like that, and I think it really depend on the situation.
what you do might work for you, but even you sometimes do not forget about it..i think so..
And the way you do it usually can be the right way, and is..
Have a great day!

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@psyceratopsb that is so very true!!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts ❤️

Forgive and move forward. But NEVER forget the lesson. Otherwise, you'll most probably make the same mistake again. So not COOL.

100% agree with you jaynie...forgiveness can be so powerful. Although it can be really hard, in the end, it will set you free!

#steembloggers

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@gouldingv well said!!!! and absolutely correct! ❤️

Have you ever read about Dr Hartman and the colour code? It changed and helped so much in my relationships and understanding people's core motives and strengths/weaknesses.
If you have read the book, then you will know that the 'white' presonality, which I am, naturally strives for peace. That means your post is something that I have tried to discuss with people often.
It seems to me that people believe it is showing a weakness, or opening themselves up to more pain, or letting the people off wrongly if they forgive.
Logically however, you can see that is them that is anxious, or struggling. Forgiveness is really for your own good. Like you said, it will "choke" you if you don't get rid of it.

Thanks for post :)

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@towjam Sounds like a fabulous book, so thank you for sharing that. I will definitely see if I can get my hands on it! ❤️

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Sure thing. Let me know once you've read it and what you thought

Is there somewhat forgiveness when there’s no offence?!
To be offended, hurt, angered means for me to get violated your own set of rules you believe are right. What is actually right nobody knows … I hate smoking folks around, or showing off their tattoos: I feel it offensive, disgusting, revolting, just a mauvais ton… An example for children to follow… Am I right? I am not sure. In fact, it happens due to my mind set of rules, and perhaps more because of my self-importance. Thus, to be offended, hurt, angered is a way to let me judge others and roar these feelings. A microbe, a spider, any animal never can offend you – you’ll just smile at them but a human- bacterium can get on your nerves, ha ha, lol, only because of you let it happen. Is there somewhat forgiveness when there’s no offence, I really wonder…

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@leosenior interesting perspective.... but if the offence is not done with intention such as the examples you mentioned above, then I would say that this is more a case of acceptance on your part... not really forgiveness, as it is not your place to dictate or judge what is or is not acceptable in my opinion... Had a good lol @ the human-bacterium reference lol.

Thanks for stopping by 😎